Gut feeling dating
He was generous when courting you, he was respectful when he met your parents, and he gets along really well with your friends.You couldn’t have seen his downside when you first got together.But it’s a lot harder to leave your own neglectful boyfriend than it is to tell your girlfriend to dump hers.It’s simple to put labels on a guy to justify why he should be dumped– he’s neglectful, he’s abusive, he’s selfish, he’s gay, blahblahblah.And that 80% is all the positive reinforcement you need to stick around for too long with the wrong guy.If you were to be an impartial third-party judge of your own life, you might act differently.Sometimes what seems like your gut talking can actually be old hurts and wounds getting vocal. But if that nagging small voice has been consistently giving the same warning for a while now, it’s wise to take heed. Are my gut feelings saying the same thing as close friends and family who know me well, and whose opinion I respect?If so, some healing, therapy, prayer, or straight talk with yourself might be in order. If so, it adds credence to the intuition you may be trying to dismiss. It’s easy to develop blind spots when our emotions are focused on the possibility of lasting love.
Sure, no one would be able to cry at chick flicks or sense when something’s wrong when you come home from work, but who cares? And after each bad relationship, I find myself retrospectively scratching my head, wondering how I could have been so blind.
It might be that you’re wrestling with the idea of following a third arrow—which is what you want to do, even if your gut and your brain are assuring you it’s a horrible idea. If this turns out to be the case, that doesn’t mean they’re wrong and you shouldn’t follow them.
If this is the case, resist the urge to ignore what your intuition and your brain are telling you. But it might mean you should take them with a grain of salt. Is your fear based on actual danger, or is it fueled by old baggage you’ve yet to unpack and unload? Our intuition is talking to us, but there’s no immediate danger or need for a quick decision, so we give things time to see if future events confirm or recalibrate our instincts.
I think it’s those damn human feelings getting in the way again.
Even a total jerk can be expected to be a nice guy 80% of the time.