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In hindsight, perhaps I should have really ended it there. He decided to move out of the flat owned by his ex’s father and live with his mum for a bit until we could afford something together.

This was framed as ‘he had done it to make me feel more comfortable’ but then, when we argued, it was ‘I moved out of my flat for you.’ I wanted a future with him, but there was something in my gut telling me things were moving too fast and I was entering into a period of my life I pictured happening in my 30s – all this should be happening after moving upwards in my career, travelling a little, writing a lot and taking each day as it came.

I only found out my ex had a child a few days after we met.

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I think I was also jealous her too – if you ended up getting engaged and having children with this guy well, she’s done it all with him already. I started to do my own thing more and stay at mine more often.Instead of feeling content I was making progress in an industry I was interested in, I was frustrated I wasn’t more successful as I wasn’t going to be able to fulfil all my other ambitions.I was pretending to accept Vietnam wouldn’t happen and that I was going to settle down.My previous relationships usually consisted of sleeping together and interacting in past-times simultaneously, such as watching films and drinking.Not technically ‘a relationship.’ Also, despite my ex’s having the emotional capacity of children, none of them actually had any.

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