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Because shy men and women tend to be more introverted and more observational thinkers in the first place, not taking things seriously goes against the grain of the shy personality makeup.But trust me when I say this: As much as a first date seems to matter in the moment, you have to put it all in perspective.Now you want your friends to come in and see the truth - that the terrifying castle on the hill isn’t haunted, it just needs a paint job, some landscaping, and a basket of potpourri.Unfortunately, no matter how effusive the description of your hidden garden, your friends are just not that interested in visiting.Without the promise of passion, they have no motivation to make the journey. Your friends are probably just waiting it out, hoping that you will eventually tire of your antisocial infatuation.

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They wait for the other person to make the first move.Off the bat, I’m thinking of the Maroon 5 song, “Unkiss Me.” The point of that song is that its singer, Adam Levine, wants to go back in time and avoid getting hurt.But with shy men and women, the problem is often the opposite: They feel uncomfortable going out on a limb and kissing their date or making a move to begin with.After all, it would be truly impossible to deeply care about anyone you’ve just met, so remember that the stranger in front of you on a date shouldn’t have that much more power over your feelings or mood.If you make sure to play a part setting up the date so you go to places you love – regardless of how the date goes – you will get better at feeling relaxed and avoid thinking about the possibility of rejection. Sometimes shy men and women can be people pleasers.

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