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As Valentine's Day approaches, and you find yourself single, as I am, you might find yourself looking online for "the one." As the Founder of SCRUFF, one of the largest gay dating apps in the world, I'm regularly asked if it's realistic that guys can find real love and long lasting relationships on apps.
You think, maybe it’s just not possible for gay men to have long-term relationships.
There must be some truth to the old joke: “What does a gay man bring on a second date? ” You would be ready to throw in the towel, if it weren’t for your best friend who met someone and is now in a happy relationship for the past 2 years—or that middle-aged couple who live in your building and who just celebrated 25 years together with a trip to Paris.
Contrary to heterosexual fears, legal gay marriage has given the institution an enormous boost in importance.In my clinical and personal experiences, these feelings can be so deeply hidden as to be difficult to recognize, articulate and resolve.My clients rarely, initially state or even recognize that they feel unworthy of love, but their behaviors tell a different story. Once in a relationship you may feel a constant need to control the other partner to make sure he stays connected and faithful to you.You keep coming up empty-handed, stymied in your efforts, no matter what you try.All of this talk of legalized marriage just seems to make things worse, adding pressure from friends, family, and even yourself.