Advice for women and dating
But truthfully, these tips can be useful for anyone looking for a mindful, mature relationship. Like you, he wants to feel special, desired, and important.
Like you, he wants to grow and contribute—and he is aware that it’s more fun, and more possible, to do that with you. Most men feel quite vulnerable when they approach a woman they like. Most men feel threatened when they have to reveal something about themselves.
This will separate you from the rest and he will begin to open up to you in the way you’re longing for. You must reveal to him who you are in a way that is both engaging and authentic, because authenticity is what’s truly attractive.
Thank him for the time he spent with you, for the lessons, for the generosity of teaching you about you.
But this is the worst thing we can do when looking for love and intimacy. In my first dating article, I outlined a few tips for men. Like you, he wants a partner he can trust and rely on.
Love and intimacy require showing up without armor. Based on my latest interactions with men in search of a partner, and what I’ve learned in 15 years of researching and decoding men’s behavior, I’m offering some insights geared toward women, that can help us understand men better and approach dating differently. Yes, it is high on his list (and perhaps on yours too), but most men want more. Like you, he wants to be valued, respected, and loved.
Like you, he wants to reach his full potential and show up at his best. Men are trained to cover their traces—they are warriors or hunters. I know women who choose men solely by height or age.
Feeling lonely after the break up, I decided to try online dating.
As I read through the profiles of the hundreds of men who approached me, I began to notice common themes. As I kept reading, I noticed that underneath the seemingly surface requirements, deeper stuff was waiting to be seen.
Some had written extensive descriptions for the ladies, telling them what not to do. I know it can be really frustrating to be out there—looking for love. Choose a man who is willing to give to you—his attention, his presence, his affection, his understanding, his time, his words, his heart.
My recent online experiences and observations lead me to believe that the big problem in today’s internet dating is that both men and women enter a dating site as if it’s a battle field—expecting an enemy to show up—and both seem shielded, armed, and ready to defend themselves. Take it out of the dating site as soon as possible (and when you feel it is safe), and agree to meet him before you get too deep into correspondence that may easily lead to fantasies.
By living in a time of no defined roles, no clear rules, and no firm boundaries, we seem to be afraid of each other and automatically expect to get hurt. But in today’s dating, this seems difficult to do—because navigating online waters often feels emotionally dangerous for most of us. Inspire him to be his best self and It’s possible that he’ll want to spend the rest of his life loving you.